👶 AI Plays Babysitter

Meta plays hall monitor, Gemini watches your screen, and OpenAI’s assistant roasts your life choices.

Happy Tuesday. AI isn’t just assisting — it’s grounding teens, narrating your screen like a nosy roommate, and dodging lawsuits faster than Elon dodges accountability.

Meta’s forcing kids into digital time-outs. Google’s Gemini sees everything you do. And Tesla’s Autopilot is in court proving it’s fully self-crashing™.

Let’s merge⚡

What’s Merging Today:
🧒 Meta’s AI catches teen liars
👁️ Gemini watches your screen — for free
⚡ Tesla’s Autopilot faces a courtroom reality check
🤖 OpenAI’s voice assistant laughs at you (yep, at you)
🌽 Corn prices spike — climate change says hi

🤯 MERGE MINDBLOWERS

Facts to weaponize at your next happy hour:

  1. Neutron stars are so dense, a teaspoon weighs 6 billion tons. Diet advice: Avoid.

  2. Google tested if people blink more during ads—they do. (Science confirms: Ads suck.)

  3. Bananas are radioactive (but don’t worry—you’d need 10 million to die).

  4. Astronauts can’t burp in space—gravity’s needed to separate gas from liquid. (Space: The ultimate diet hack.)

  5. Jellyfish are immortal… unless eaten, blended, or left in a college dorm fridge.

📡 SIGNAL, NOT NOISE

Meta’s AI: The New Vice Principal 

Image: Meta

Instagram users fudging their age? Meta’s AI now sniffs them out and drops them into “Teen Accounts” — stricter privacy, tamer content, screen-time limits, and probably some passive-aggressive notifications.

👀 Translation:
If you're 13 pretending to be 30, the bots know — and they just told your mom.

🧠 Parents get “conversation starters.” Teens get digital ankle monitors.

💡 Takeaway:
Instagram’s gone from lawless scroll-fest to tightly managed HOA, and the AI runs the clubhouse.

🤖 AI ON THE MOVE

Gemini Sees What You See — And Judges Silently

Image created by The Morning Merge with AI assistance

Google’s Gemini now lets you share your live screen or camera feed — no premium plan required.

📷 Hold it up to a menu, your faucet, a PDF, or your tax return — Gemini sees it and explains what’s going on like a polite genius roommate.

Before:
“Hey Google, how do I fix this?”
Now:
shows broken thing “Fix this.”

💡 Takeaway:
Google gave AI eyes. Helpful? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.

🧰 MERGE TOOLS

5 AI tools to make you look competent (or fake it well):

  • Decktopus – Turn “uhhh” into a presentation

  • AudioPen – Rant into your phone, get polished prose 

  • Rizzle – Auto-edit videos into TikTok crack

  • Superflows – Write emails without crying

  • Genei – Summarize PDFs so you don’t have to 

🛠️ Pro tip: Use one before your boss asks, “Why’s this taking so long?”

🧨 MERGE MARKETS

S&P 500

5,158.20

🔴2.36% 

Dow Jones

38,170.41

🔴2.48%   

NASDAQ

15,870.90

🔴2.55%  

10-Year

4.41%

🟢5 bps 

Bitcoin

88,066.80

🟢0.61%  

Forge Global

12.30

🟢41.54% 

MP Materials

23.19

🔴11.99% 

*Stock data as of market close on April 21 2025. Crypto data as of 6:00 PM ET.

📈 Bright Spot:

 Forge Global (FRGE) soared 41.5% — the day’s top gainer — after a surprise earnings beat and bullish outlook on secondary share liquidity.

📉 Rough Ride:

MP Materials (MP) tanked nearly 12% following weak guidance and falling rare earth prices — making it Monday’s biggest loser.

🔮 Outlook:
Markets took a beating across the board as investors brace for this week’s Big Tech earnings. Meanwhile, rates ticked up slightly, and crypto held steady.

🗞️ WHAT ELSE IS MERGING

  • 🍏 Siri’s getting a real-time AI voice (finally sounding awake).

  • 🎮 Epic Games lays off 8% (Fortnite builders: “Wait, we’re not ‘metaverse’ anymore?”).

  • 📝 Netflix’s AI script tool helps writers (or replaces them).

  • 🏀 NBA testing AI refs—because robots don’t gamble.

  • 🚨 Motorola launches AI-powered device to cut emergency response time

Send The Morning Merge to a friend, colleague, ex, nemesis, or AI-curious group chat. If they don’t thank you, we will.

💎 Referral Rewards

  •  1 Referral — ChatGPT Cheat Sheet

  •  3 Referrals — $5 Venmo cash reward

  •  5 Referrals — $10 Venmo (treat yourself, or don’t)

  •  10 Referrals — $20 Venmo

Check your referral count: 0 

or copy & paste your unique referral link to others.
https://www.morningmerge.com/subscribe?ref=PLACEHOLDER

👑 Perk of the Month: Top referrer gets to write a section of the newsletter. Your hot take, immortalized.

💼 SPONSOR THE MERGE

Reach thousands of AI-obsessed, tech-fluent professionals. Want your brand seen here? Let’s merge forces.

 💬 FEEDBACK

How would you rate today's newsletter?

Your feedback helps me improve my content!

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Until next time,

Matt & The Morning Merge team.