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- š¶ AI Plays Babysitter
š¶ AI Plays Babysitter
Meta plays hall monitor, Gemini watches your screen, and OpenAIās assistant roasts your life choices.

Happy Tuesday. AI isnāt just assisting ā itās grounding teens, narrating your screen like a nosy roommate, and dodging lawsuits faster than Elon dodges accountability.
Metaās forcing kids into digital time-outs. Googleās Gemini sees everything you do. And Teslaās Autopilot is in court proving itās fully self-crashingā¢.
Letās mergeā”
Whatās Merging Today:
⢠š§ Metaās AI catches teen liars
⢠šļø Gemini watches your screen ā for free
⢠┠Teslaās Autopilot faces a courtroom reality check
⢠š¤ OpenAIās voice assistant laughs at you (yep, at you)
⢠š½ Corn prices spike ā climate change says hi
𤯠MERGE MINDBLOWERS
Facts to weaponize at your next happy hour:
Neutron stars are so dense, a teaspoon weighs 6 billion tons. Diet advice: Avoid.
Google tested if people blink more during adsāthey do. (Science confirms: Ads suck.)
Bananas are radioactive (but donāt worryāyouād need 10 million to die).
Astronauts canāt burp in spaceāgravityās needed to separate gas from liquid. (Space: The ultimate diet hack.)
Jellyfish are immortal⦠unless eaten, blended, or left in a college dorm fridge.
š” SIGNAL, NOT NOISE
Metaās AI: The New Vice Principal

Image: Meta
Instagram users fudging their age? Metaās AI now sniffs them out and drops them into āTeen Accountsā ā stricter privacy, tamer content, screen-time limits, and probably some passive-aggressive notifications.
š Translation:
If you're 13 pretending to be 30, the bots know ā and they just told your mom.
š§ Parents get āconversation starters.ā Teens get digital ankle monitors.
š” Takeaway:
Instagramās gone from lawless scroll-fest to tightly managed HOA, and the AI runs the clubhouse.
š¤ AI ON THE MOVE
Gemini Sees What You See ā And Judges Silently

Image created by The Morning Merge with AI assistance
Googleās Gemini now lets you share your live screen or camera feed ā no premium plan required.
š· Hold it up to a menu, your faucet, a PDF, or your tax return ā Gemini sees it and explains whatās going on like a polite genius roommate.
Before:
āHey Google, how do I fix this?ā
Now:
shows broken thing āFix this.ā
š” Takeaway:
Google gave AI eyes. Helpful? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.
š§° MERGE TOOLS
5 AI tools to make you look competent (or fake it well):
Decktopus ā Turn āuhhhā into a presentation
AudioPen ā Rant into your phone, get polished prose
Rizzle ā Auto-edit videos into TikTok crack
Superflows ā Write emails without crying
Genei ā Summarize PDFs so you donāt have to
š ļø Pro tip: Use one before your boss asks, āWhyās this taking so long?ā
š§Ø MERGE MARKETS
S&P 500 | 5,158.20 | š“2.36% |
Dow Jones | 38,170.41 | š“2.48% |
NASDAQ | 15,870.90 | š“2.55% |
10-Year | 4.41% | š¢5 bps |
Bitcoin | 88,066.80 | š¢0.61% |
Forge Global | 12.30 | š¢41.54% |
MP Materials | 23.19 | š“11.99% |
*Stock data as of market close on April 21 2025. Crypto data as of 6:00 PM ET.
š Bright Spot:
Forge Global (FRGE) soared 41.5% ā the dayās top gainer ā after a surprise earnings beat and bullish outlook on secondary share liquidity.
š Rough Ride:
MP Materials (MP) tanked nearly 12% following weak guidance and falling rare earth prices ā making it Mondayās biggest loser.
š® Outlook:
Markets took a beating across the board as investors brace for this weekās Big Tech earnings. Meanwhile, rates ticked up slightly, and crypto held steady.
šļø WHAT ELSE IS MERGING
š Siriās getting a real-time AI voice (finally sounding awake).
š® Epic Games lays off 8% (Fortnite builders: āWait, weāre not āmetaverseā anymore?ā).
š Netflixās AI script tool helps writers (or replaces them).
š NBA testing AI refsābecause robots donāt gamble.
šØ Motorola launches AI-powered device to cut emergency response time
š¬ QUICK POLL
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š¼ SPONSOR THE MERGE
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Until next time,
Matt & The Morning Merge team.