- The Morning Merge
- Posts
- 👶 AI Plays Babysitter
👶 AI Plays Babysitter
Meta plays hall monitor, Gemini watches your screen, and OpenAI’s assistant roasts your life choices.

Happy Tuesday. AI isn’t just assisting — it’s grounding teens, narrating your screen like a nosy roommate, and dodging lawsuits faster than Elon dodges accountability.
Meta’s forcing kids into digital time-outs. Google’s Gemini sees everything you do. And Tesla’s Autopilot is in court proving it’s fully self-crashing™.
Let’s merge⚡
What’s Merging Today:
• 🧒 Meta’s AI catches teen liars
• 👁️ Gemini watches your screen — for free
• ⚡ Tesla’s Autopilot faces a courtroom reality check
• 🤖 OpenAI’s voice assistant laughs at you (yep, at you)
• 🌽 Corn prices spike — climate change says hi
🤯 MERGE MINDBLOWERS
Facts to weaponize at your next happy hour:
Neutron stars are so dense, a teaspoon weighs 6 billion tons. Diet advice: Avoid.
Google tested if people blink more during ads—they do. (Science confirms: Ads suck.)
Bananas are radioactive (but don’t worry—you’d need 10 million to die).
Astronauts can’t burp in space—gravity’s needed to separate gas from liquid. (Space: The ultimate diet hack.)
Jellyfish are immortal… unless eaten, blended, or left in a college dorm fridge.
📡 SIGNAL, NOT NOISE
Meta’s AI: The New Vice Principal

Image: Meta
Instagram users fudging their age? Meta’s AI now sniffs them out and drops them into “Teen Accounts” — stricter privacy, tamer content, screen-time limits, and probably some passive-aggressive notifications.
👀 Translation:
If you're 13 pretending to be 30, the bots know — and they just told your mom.
🧠 Parents get “conversation starters.” Teens get digital ankle monitors.
💡 Takeaway:
Instagram’s gone from lawless scroll-fest to tightly managed HOA, and the AI runs the clubhouse.
🤖 AI ON THE MOVE
Gemini Sees What You See — And Judges Silently

Image created by The Morning Merge with AI assistance
Google’s Gemini now lets you share your live screen or camera feed — no premium plan required.
📷 Hold it up to a menu, your faucet, a PDF, or your tax return — Gemini sees it and explains what’s going on like a polite genius roommate.
Before:
“Hey Google, how do I fix this?”
Now:
shows broken thing “Fix this.”
💡 Takeaway:
Google gave AI eyes. Helpful? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.
🧰 MERGE TOOLS
5 AI tools to make you look competent (or fake it well):
Decktopus – Turn “uhhh” into a presentation
AudioPen – Rant into your phone, get polished prose
Rizzle – Auto-edit videos into TikTok crack
Superflows – Write emails without crying
Genei – Summarize PDFs so you don’t have to
🛠️ Pro tip: Use one before your boss asks, “Why’s this taking so long?”
🧨 MERGE MARKETS
S&P 500 | 5,158.20 | 🔴2.36% |
Dow Jones | 38,170.41 | 🔴2.48% |
NASDAQ | 15,870.90 | 🔴2.55% |
10-Year | 4.41% | 🟢5 bps |
Bitcoin | 88,066.80 | 🟢0.61% |
Forge Global | 12.30 | 🟢41.54% |
MP Materials | 23.19 | 🔴11.99% |
*Stock data as of market close on April 21 2025. Crypto data as of 6:00 PM ET.
📈 Bright Spot:
Forge Global (FRGE) soared 41.5% — the day’s top gainer — after a surprise earnings beat and bullish outlook on secondary share liquidity.
📉 Rough Ride:
MP Materials (MP) tanked nearly 12% following weak guidance and falling rare earth prices — making it Monday’s biggest loser.
🔮 Outlook:
Markets took a beating across the board as investors brace for this week’s Big Tech earnings. Meanwhile, rates ticked up slightly, and crypto held steady.
🗞️ WHAT ELSE IS MERGING
🍏 Siri’s getting a real-time AI voice (finally sounding awake).
🎮 Epic Games lays off 8% (Fortnite builders: “Wait, we’re not ‘metaverse’ anymore?”).
📝 Netflix’s AI script tool helps writers (or replaces them).
🏀 NBA testing AI refs—because robots don’t gamble.
🚨 Motorola launches AI-powered device to cut emergency response time
💬 QUICK POLL
Meta’s AI auto-enrolling teens into “safe mode” is… |
Send The Morning Merge to a friend, colleague, ex, nemesis, or AI-curious group chat. If they don’t thank you, we will.
💎 Referral Rewards
✅ 1 Referral — ChatGPT Cheat Sheet
✅ 3 Referrals — $5 Venmo cash reward
✅ 5 Referrals — $10 Venmo (treat yourself, or don’t)
✅ 10 Referrals — $20 Venmo
Check your referral count: 0
or copy & paste your unique referral link to others.
https://www.morningmerge.com/subscribe?ref=PLACEHOLDER
👑 Perk of the Month: Top referrer gets to write a section of the newsletter. Your hot take, immortalized.
💼 SPONSOR THE MERGE
Reach thousands of AI-obsessed, tech-fluent professionals. Want your brand seen here? Let’s merge forces.
💬 FEEDBACK
How would you rate today's newsletter?Your feedback helps me improve my content! |
Until next time,
Matt & The Morning Merge team.