šŸ‘¶ AI Plays Babysitter

Meta plays hall monitor, Gemini watches your screen, and OpenAI’s assistant roasts your life choices.

Happy Tuesday. AI isn’t just assisting — it’s grounding teens, narrating your screen like a nosy roommate, and dodging lawsuits faster than Elon dodges accountability.

Meta’s forcing kids into digital time-outs. Google’s Gemini sees everything you do. And Tesla’s Autopilot is in court proving it’s fully self-crashingā„¢.

Let’s merge⚔

What’s Merging Today:
• šŸ§’ Meta’s AI catches teen liars
• šŸ‘ļø Gemini watches your screen — for free
• ⚔ Tesla’s Autopilot faces a courtroom reality check
• šŸ¤– OpenAI’s voice assistant laughs at you (yep, at you)
• 🌽 Corn prices spike — climate change says hi

🤯 MERGE MINDBLOWERS

Facts to weaponize at your next happy hour:

  1. Neutron stars are so dense, a teaspoon weighs 6 billion tons. Diet advice: Avoid.

  2. Google tested if people blink more during ads—they do. (Science confirms: Ads suck.)

  3. Bananas are radioactive (but don’t worry—you’d need 10 million to die).

  4. Astronauts can’t burp in space—gravity’s needed to separate gas from liquid. (Space: The ultimate diet hack.)

  5. Jellyfish are immortal… unless eaten, blended, or left in a college dorm fridge.

šŸ“” SIGNAL, NOT NOISE

Meta’s AI: The New Vice Principal 

Image: Meta

Instagram users fudging their age? Meta’s AI now sniffs them out and drops them into ā€œTeen Accountsā€ — stricter privacy, tamer content, screen-time limits, and probably some passive-aggressive notifications.

šŸ‘€ Translation:
If you're 13 pretending to be 30, the bots know — and they just told your mom.

🧠 Parents get ā€œconversation starters.ā€ Teens get digital ankle monitors.

šŸ’” Takeaway:
Instagram’s gone from lawless scroll-fest to tightly managed HOA, and the AI runs the clubhouse.

šŸ¤– AI ON THE MOVE

Gemini Sees What You See — And Judges Silently

Image created by The Morning Merge with AI assistance

Google’s Gemini now lets you share your live screen or camera feed — no premium plan required.

šŸ“· Hold it up to a menu, your faucet, a PDF, or your tax return — Gemini sees it and explains what’s going on like a polite genius roommate.

Before:
ā€œHey Google, how do I fix this?ā€
Now:
shows broken thing ā€œFix this.ā€

šŸ’” Takeaway:
Google gave AI eyes. Helpful? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.

🧰 MERGE TOOLS

5 AI tools to make you look competent (or fake it well):

  • Decktopus – Turn ā€œuhhhā€ into a presentation

  • AudioPen – Rant into your phone, get polished prose 

  • Rizzle – Auto-edit videos into TikTok crack

  • Superflows – Write emails without crying

  • Genei – Summarize PDFs so you don’t have to 

šŸ› ļø Pro tip: Use one before your boss asks, ā€œWhy’s this taking so long?ā€

🧨 MERGE MARKETS

S&P 500

5,158.20

šŸ”“2.36% 

Dow Jones

38,170.41

šŸ”“2.48%   

NASDAQ

15,870.90

šŸ”“2.55%  

10-Year

4.41%

🟢5 bps 

Bitcoin

88,066.80

🟢0.61%  

Forge Global

12.30

🟢41.54% 

MP Materials

23.19

šŸ”“11.99% 

*Stock data as of market close on April 21 2025. Crypto data as of 6:00 PM ET.

šŸ“ˆ Bright Spot:

 Forge Global (FRGE) soared 41.5% — the day’s top gainer — after a surprise earnings beat and bullish outlook on secondary share liquidity.

šŸ“‰ Rough Ride:

MP Materials (MP) tanked nearly 12% following weak guidance and falling rare earth prices — making it Monday’s biggest loser.

šŸ”® Outlook:
Markets took a beating across the board as investors brace for this week’s Big Tech earnings. Meanwhile, rates ticked up slightly, and crypto held steady.

šŸ—žļø WHAT ELSE IS MERGING

  • šŸ Siri’s getting a real-time AI voice (finally sounding awake).

  • šŸŽ® Epic Games lays off 8% (Fortnite builders: ā€œWait, we’re not ā€˜metaverse’ anymore?ā€).

  • šŸ“ Netflix’s AI script tool helps writers (or replaces them).

  • šŸ€ NBA testing AI refs—because robots don’t gamble.

  • 🚨 Motorola launches AI-powered device to cut emergency response time

šŸ’¬ QUICK POLL

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šŸ’¼ SPONSOR THE MERGE

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Until next time,

Matt & The Morning Merge team.